Ceccout Turkey

Chapter 15- The Inventor

2010-04-24T10:55:00.000-07:00

Two tones. Maybe two and a half. The brown dye fell into black and was littered with grey. So maybe three.

I'd never seen a combover so combed...over. The hair surged from the base of his head, wrapping itself in a coiffed helmet.

"I'm an inventor," he told us, fresh green almonds gripped between hairy fingers, bits of salt spotting the green like the grey spotted his black and brown hair.

"What have you invented?"

"A water pipe that you don't smoke. You use cough syrup." A better answer couldn't have come from a polyester suited Syrian who whirred around town on an electric scooter.

"Really." We exchanged glances.

"Really. Almond?" Hands thrust forward, he munched and thought, crunched and pondered. "Come with me for dinner."

His scooter had only room for one passenger. Two if someone wanted to ride on the basket. We opted for one. I opted for one.

In the thumping heart of Hama, Syria, the arteries pushed through car after car, horn after horn.

"Don't be scared- I do this all the time," he reassured me as he readjusted the mirror on the left side, bent freshly from hitting a stopped car.

"They all know me! See how everyone's waving?" He turned back to look at me, polyester jacket facing the flipped up fingers and blasts of oncoming drivers.

He flitted and jolted through the bloodstream. His bushy hands were light on the brakes, but also sometimes late on the brakes. My life would have flashed before my eyes, but his hair blocked the images, and they fell to the ground, run over by his electric scoot.

He kicked the stand out and parked the contraption, brushing off a leaf on the seat like the insults hurled at him fluttered off the hair helmet. "We'll meet my friends."

'Stayin' Alive' by the Bee Gees played in my head as the trio strutted ahead of me, pleated legs swaying and glances swerving. Nods given and hands gripped, these men were movers, and judging by their gait, shakers. They ran the town with their swagger alone.

They knew a place, he said. A friend's. Good food. Welcome. Welcome to Syria.

Menus came out, and we scanned the Arabic, pretending to know what we were reading. We'll have the meat, we decided.

"150 grams? Not enough." His jowls swayed, but the hair stayed firm. It was the terra firma to his quaking gestures. Hands gesticulated, arms waved. More meat! More meat! The waiter wouldn't budge.

Sometimes a principled stand needs to be taken- sometimes trivialities need to be brushed aside, and a forceful roots need to be planted. There is a time and a place, and a restaurant in Hama has neither. The swish swish of polyester led us out of restaurant, the tempers of the trio still fuming.

He knew another place. With more meat. 150? What is that? His friend's. Well, he knows the owner.

Water and yogurt with salt becomes an acquired taste. With oregano it becomes a different story. We gulped down the seasoned drink to quench the heat of the night. We chased with water.

The florescent lights overhead shone down onto vinyl covered seats. It was as if time had taken a rest in this place, and decided it liked what it saw. The polyester pant legs that swung to the beat of arabesque music fit. They almost fit too tight- an uncomfortable hug.

I'd been given lessons earlier in life about table manners. You never know when you'll be eating with the Queen, I was told. Tonight I was eating with the Kings of Style, and convention were tossed out.

"Try the salad. With lemon- no. Like that. Did I tell you my brothers and father were killed in the massacre? Ah- try this humus. Use the bread."

No topic was off limits to them- or at least to one. The other stayed true to his craft.

"Yes, you see, you put the cough syrup in and then inhale. You willl feel very good."

"Really? I mean, cough syrup? You don't see something wrong with that?"

"Yes I need to find a fair in Canada. Do you know about it? In Scarborough."

We danced for the whole dinner, sidestepping and twirling away from talk of chopped off heads and hands, and green cough syrup.

The bill couldn't have come at a better time, and the expressions couldn't have been more worrying. The inventor scrunched his forehead, the helmet moving as one. He called over the owner. They talked. The meat seemed to have been good weight, we thought.

"There has been mistake with the owner- he is not my friend anymore. He will not give me a discount." A bill landed on our plates.

"I am sorry. Please, let me take you for tea. To make up for this."

We indulged him, and cut through the night air with the strides of a group that's eaten too much.

A large bottle of water! Yes four teas! We sipped and watched the television. He excused himself to the washroom. He must have eaten some bad humus- he was taking forever.

"Sir, you-your friend has left without paying for the drinks," a beanstalk sidled up to the table and with a voice that cracked and fell from his mouth, told us we'd lost our man.

"Oh."

Maybe the embarrassment of not getting a discount had made him flee. Maybe an epiphany about his invention had caused him to take flight. Or maybe the two Canadians left to foot the $1.50 had been played by the coiffed inventor. Maybe the King of Style had struck again, and somewhere on a dark road, the notes of a time past but still present played to his strut.

Chapter 14- The Mule

2010-02-21T09:24:00.000-08:00

The deep wrinkles of her skin might even be hiding something.

As the crinkle of cigarette cases became the soundtrack to the tense atmosphere, nothing seemed beyond the realm of possibility.

Cases disappeared beneath her shawl. They were like little clowns in reverse, stuffing themselves back into the car.

She might have been 85. Or 30. Being a cigarette mule drains the soul like it drains the face.

My glances in her direction didn’t deter her. Instead, her hands became frenzied claws that gripped and shoved until she became a walking cigarette that wrinkled and rustled just like the real deal.

We were five stuffed into four seats. The driver, the American, the driver’s friend, and the two innocent old ladies who had seemed the safest travel companions as we made our way back into Turkey.

Maybe they were late bloomers that found adventure and thrill in shepherding tobacco instead of Tuesday canasta. Maybe I should be learning something from them. The drivers seemed to be- they turned and shifted boxes until anywhere became an ideal hiding place. Except our backpacks. Those were off limits, we warned.

And for a second, I pondered the ridiculousness of the situation- minutes from a security check that should reveal all that was hidden within the car, we were in a taxi leaving Iraq with two semi-retirees and who knows how much soon-to-be smuggled goods. The old lady next to me was probably more processed tobacco than blood.

We had read that it would happen- the drivers would try to sneak as few boxes into our bags as our glances were elsewhere. So no bag strayed from any eye. It seemed that they really didn’t need us. More had gone down everyone’s pants than would have ever fit in the bags.

Driving away from the flooding streets of Erbil, cash in hand, all of our troubles seemed to be out of the way. How hard would it be to get back into Turkey?

Very, it turned out. Taxis and cars formed two obedient lines that stretched back far enough to diminish the hope in even the most ardent optimist. Bumpers were being removed, and cars meticulously searched for weapons, drugs and eagle print bedding.

She might have been someone’s grandma. She should have been a public service announcement. Kids, don’t buy smuggled cigarettes. Your grandma put her life on the line to bring them over. She should have been a lot of things, yet her conservative dress belied her real intentions. She was a hardened criminal dealing in contraband. But she probably made great biscuits. I wondered if she would go home and knit, the pyramid of Prestige cigarettes tossing a boxed shadow over her shaking hands.

Somehow, we made it over. Barring all common sense, our taxi rolled back into the familiarity of Turkey, and the passengers all breathed a sigh of collective relief.

I don’t know what became of the old woman and her stash. Maybe they were presents for her children and grandchildren. Maybe she had a little stand on the street, and sipped tea all day while nicotine-craving passers by jumped at the price of bir bucuk.

The other one, who had either been subtler, or had carried less on her person, boarded the same bus as us.

“Very cold,” she told us, for the fifth time in Turkish. It seemed to be all that she thought we knew. Maybe nodding enthusiastically was encouraging it.

Midway through our trip, as the border fell further and further away to become an idea, rather than a place, the bus was pulled over for a jandarma checkpoint.

The guard only raised his eyebrows when we told him our reason in Iraq was a vacation.

Further down the bus, a little girl was asked what was in her bag. She reluctantly held it back. The jandarma pulled it away. Smokes. Lot’s of them.

“Everybody off the bus!” he ordered. Busted.

All bags were opened and searched. Except ours. We were told there were no problems, and were sent back on the bus, as herds of shivering Turks watched their valuables (most of which turned out to be cigarettes) be rifled through.

After half an hour, the bus started rolling again, dodging potholes with a grace reserved for the worst of drivers. The bus drove into the night, lighter than it had been moments ago. A group of happy jandarma waving over another bus the last picture I saw before my eyes closed.

Chapter 13- The Smuggler

2010-02-14T09:36:00.000-08:00

“Are you brave?” He didn’t wait for an answer as he vaulted his heavy frame over fence.

Behind me, his lime green Mercedes watched, passing silent judgment.

We had cruised by a police station five minutes back and rolled through security five before that.

A silence hung in the air, swatted back and forth by the breeze. I decided I was. I gripped the cool railings, and hauled myself over.

We had met him only hours earlier- a Kurdish landowner with subversive tendencies. Mysteriously, he didn’t favour the leg that that had been shot by Iranian military in the mountains as his 25-donkey envoy hauled rugs.

He was a juggernaut of a man, more horizontally than vertically. His black leather jacket and penchant for ‘tax free’ Prestige cigarettes made him seem like a caricatured TV gangster. His laugh was deep, and his meaty gestures sweeping.

It didn’t take long for him to explain the nuances of automatic weapons. The tea was sipped with reckless abandon as he extolled the virtues of the AK-74, versus its mainstream sibling.

If three quarters of his stories were true, he had lived an interesting life. Maybe he wasn’t in cahoots with the locals digging up chromium. Maybe he was.

He’d wine and dine us. We had a date with a smuggler. Ex-smuggler, he’d remind us.

For someone who trafficked in goods, he said he had standards. No drugs, no weapons. Or people.

Maybe he was trying to impress us. Or one of us. He’d taken an interest in my travelling companion. She wasn’t reciprocating.

“Miss America” he called her. Repeatedly. Sometimes he would croon it.

On the other side of the fence, the world became electrified. It was where rules were broken. Where people were built up into legends, and then broken. Or maybe it was just a field with a building.

We were two and one- two over and one on the other side. After the tossing of bags, we were all in. The chips slid into the middle of the table.

The grim late afternoon cast everything in grey. We were a black and white film, actors improvising roles.

He had been before- he had seen the script. He tried the door. Locked.

He could tailor his stories well for his audience. For me, he gruffly recalled the booming smuggling trade through mountain passes. Donkeys, Iranian diesel and guns all danced in his eyes. For the American, he delicately wove tales of his white horse. Snowflake. Thick fingers pulled the silken words together.

Like a true Kurd, his proclivity for vices extended to tea. Smuggled, of course. He loudly announced he drank twenty a day. We had seen ten. Maybe he was putting on a show.

The locked door didn’t deter him. “I know another way,” he said. He convinced us in a way only an oversized, smuggling Kurd could.

“They need evidence to keep you in jail. They didn’t have any.” We should have grilled him more. But the fascination of his legend, the draw of a good tale lured us in. After all, it was our first night there.

He led us to the side of the building. There they were, the culmination of backroad mud in an old Mercedes, through a village with Kurdish folk music blasting from nostalgic cassettes.

There they were. White cats. One green eye, one blue. Meowing. Who cares. We didn’t. He stuck his fingers through the cage, cooing. Like a child. A large, hairy, tabacco-stained child. As I watched the scene unfold, I wanted to ask him if he was still brave. I wanted to say it with a laugh. Maybe I’d nick his skin with a sarcastic tone.

But I decided against it. It was a long walk back, and I didn’t know the way.

Chapter 12

2010-02-14T08:24:00.000-08:00

If the west of Turkey is the star of the family, the southeast is the child least understood. From a distance it seems bitter and unapproachable, but take a minute to sit down with it, and its cold demeanor unravels.

Which is really what the last two weeks were- an honest, objective conversation with a region that has long be demonized by its western counterpart.

Starting from the furthest east, Van was our takeoff point into adventure. A city resting in between towering mountains, this 'pearl of the east' feels as if it stands at the edge of the world. And in a sense, in the context of the Turkish world, it does. It balances on the precipice of the Iranian border, yet manages to retain a unique indentity far removed from the modernization of its western brethren.

After touring the markets, summiting the revered Rock of Van and dining with an ex-smuggler (allegedly), the journey turned south, and a odorous bus brought us to Hakkari. Along the way, the trip was broken up by a staccato of military checkpoints. Intimidating at first, they soon became a repetitive bore. Set up by the jandarma as a means of weeding out Kurdish rebels (often associated with the PKK) the points became more frequent the deeper into the south we drove.

The checkpoints reminded me why I was there- to see, first hand, the Kurdish area of Turkey. Kurds are the largest minority in Turkey (some numbers suggest as high was 18 million), and this area has been at the centre of conflict since the 1980's. Post military coup, the Kurdish militant movement for a recognized, autonomous state of Kurdistan turned bloody, and terrorist attacks were launched by the PKK (the Kurdistan Workers Party). The result was swift action by the military, and the subsequent burning of hundreds of villages. Tens of thousands were killed throughout the 1990's, tarnishing the region for years to come.

It is for this reason that the area has been held at arm's length by most Turkish people. My aim was to see if it was really that bad. Undoubtedly atrocities had been committed there in years past, but what would it be like for a foreigner to journey along the winding mountain roads?

From Hakkari to Cizre, northern Iraq, Mardin and Diyarbakir, we were met with the most intense generosity and kindness that can be imagined. Paying for meals was difficult, conversation easy and warm, and the disposition of Kurdish locals was one of intrigue. Not once during the trip, amid the rolling tanks and armed guards, did I feel unsafe. We were welcomed into homes- we were approached on the street. People just want to say 'hi'. And 'welcome'.

The way of life, the people, and the overall atmosphere is a sharp break from the speed, affluence and lifestyle of cities like Izmir, Istanbul and Ankara. But it was a welcome, tranquil break.

Being virtually the only tourist in the region, it gave me an amplified sense of how isolated this area is from the other side of the country. The villagers spoke about how they didn't want much, just to preserve their culture. The conversations raised questions of national identity and autonomy- problems we have yet to fully solve back in Canada. It is a nuanced, complex debate, and one that is neither understood nor solved in a mere two week visit. But the tour of the area gave a face to a demon- and the face was one that did not match the body.

After seeing beautiful architecture set beside sprawling slums, after touring back alleys and mountain passes, I came to the realization that the area had been unfairly portrayed as a war-torn danger zone. While it has its problems like every area, the opinions formed about it, and then spread around the commentary circuit, are often by people who never visit. And in that, it becomes a tragedy. An entire chunk of the country becomes taboo among those who have no real reason to hold those sentiments. And so the problem persists- many continue to look down on the east as a lower, lesser developed part of the nation.

When I told Turkish friends I would be going to this area, virtually all (except for one) told me it was a bad idea. I might be shot. Or kidnapped. And yet the result was the exact opposite- I was welcomed with earnest hospitality.

While I won't pretend that my experience can serve as proxy for all those that venture into this area, it highlights the dubiousness of rumour and hearsay, and shows that they must be challenged personally before one can even begin to understand a nation's problems.

For photos of the journey from Van to Sanliurfa, go to www.flickr.com/photos/lcecco

Chapter 11

2010-01-01T04:02:00.000-08:00

Before Christmas, I had anticipated that after the day, I'd be writing about a consumption-free holiday passed. I would venture into the future as an enlightened critic of the holidays and consumerism. I would click my tongue and shake my head at the mention of Christmas trees and presents.

And I think these early thoughts were fair. I'm in a country where not many people (except those in the tourism industry) know when Christmas is celebrated. School's still in session on that day, but if you're an exchange student, you're given a couple of days off to enjoy celebrating far away from home. As a result, I didn't expect Christmas, in any of its culturally different forms, to make much of a cameo.

We opted to spend the holidays in a cave. The literalness of being in a cave on Christmas seemed translate into some kind of metaphor. Or we hoped it would. Maybe one of rebellion. Or shelteredness. Or the deprivation of wasteless consumption.

If our balloon pilot that morning stood for anything, he was an indication that you can run and float away, but you can't actually hide.

Except maybe in a cave.

Which we did.

To our dismay, Christmas lights and trees were the only thing that filled the empty streets of Goreme with life. On the balloon, boxes of Turkish delight were passed out as gifts by a bearded Santa (or Baba Noel), although to his credit, he was actually Belgian. Shouts of 'Merry Christmas!' came from shopkeepers and lonely restaurant owners, and our server where we had our 'Christmas breakfast' greeted us warmly on our holiday.

So it found us.

But, as Hilary is telling me right now, I didn't really want to get away from Christmas. There are certain things that still make the season a great time- going back home for Christmas has always been a highlight, the weather, the food- none of this is stuff I'd be glad to get rid of. What we really wanted to experience was how much of the world viewed it- as just another day.

And in the end, that's how it felt. Sure, we belted out a painfully tone-deaf version of Jingle Bells as we floated hundreds of meters into the sky. But nothing clicked that it was actually Christmas.

So we got what we wanted.

On a more interesting note, we found out why there are so many trees, and little Santas on the branches as decoration. All of the paraphernalia is shipped in to celebrate the New Year, which, to them, is the main reason for celebration at this time of the year.

The original Saint Nicholas, or Nicholas of Myra, was from an area near Antalya. Since this falls into present-day Turkey, they see Saint Nicholas as being Turkish. And if you believes he comes from your area, you ought to have a fair claim to exploiting him for commercial purposes. So Saint Nicholas, or Baba Noel comes to bring presents for Turks on New Year's. Which saves him from about 80 million people on Christmas eve. Although the one thing that still doesn't make any sense is why he dresses exactly like the Coca-Cola Santa. C'mon- really? Let's be a bit more original...

The pictures of the holiday season can be found on Flickr

Chapter 10

2009-12-19T02:02:00.000-08:00

I mean, it was on the menu. To our tired minds, it meant at least a few people before us had been feeling adventurous.

It seemed like the perfect end to about two weeks of travelling, which had taken us from Eskisehir to Izmir on the Agean, then the old city of Selcuk which held the ruins of Ephesus, Pamukkale, and finally onto Egypt. We'd travelled up and down the country via the rail line, convincing ourselves that we were seeing the not-so touristy side of Egypt.

When we told the waiter we wanted to order it, he seemed surprised- not as if we were the only ones who had ever asked for it, but as though we didn't quite understand what it was. He repeated it a few times in confirmation.

We spent four days in Izmir, a city laden down by its history. Homer was born there, and mentions if frequently in his works. The first residents are known to have lived there in 6,500 BC. Our hotel was near a market, and on the day that rain wasn't turning the pavement into sponges, we got lost (not so figuratively) in the bazaar. Since Selcuk is only an hour by train from Izmir, it lent itself to day trips.

He first brought over napkins and forks, and then, realizing a mistake, rushed over with knives. At this point, there was a feeling in my stomach. It wasn't hunger. It was closer to anticipation, but a wary form of it. If Hilary was feeling the same, she wasn't showing it. We both sipped our raki and ate the bread that has been left on the table.

The ruins of Ephesus are only 3 kilometers from downtown Selcuk, so it's only a dolmush ride away. At one point, Ephesus was the capital city of Asia Minor, and for a short time, the second largest city in the world (with a population of 250,000). From the pictures we'd seen, it was filled with sickeningly cool ruins, and a copious amount of tourists. Fortunately, when you arrive in early December, when the sun spends most of the time in hiding, not many tour buses make their way out to the site. To stand at the top an old theatre, blocks crumbling, but still with perfect acoustics, alone, is a pretty amazing feeling.

We'd only ended up in the restaurant for some food before our overnight train. At first we'd ordered a tea or two, but soon hunger overcame our want to sit and drink teas. We'd asked for the menu, and we scanned over the regular items- dolma, kofte, kebap, gozleme. Then it caught my eye- midway on the page, tossed between eggplant salad and a sheep cheese platter.

"Hey check this out- we need to get it. C'mon- it will make us smarter!"

Pamukkale, the somewhat appropriately named the 'Cotton Fortress' posed a challenge to us. By naming itself a 'fortress', we were left to wonder, 'how easy is it to get into?' We'd tested our shrewdness the day before, when we scaled the walls of an old Roman fort, suggesting that if two young people can get in without a problem, perhaps the Empire wasn't as glorious as it had one claimed. So in Pamukkale, we learned two things- first, it's not really cotton. Second- we weren't the first people to try and sneak in. So we got caught, and the guards laughed off our attempts at apologetic Turkish, and told us to go by a ticket. Which we did. Sigh.

Pamukkale is an amazing scene, once you're in and have paid for a ticket. Cloudy water flows over the mountain, and the calcium is deposited onto the rock, where it hardens. Over time, it builds up and the mountain looks like a cotton hill. Unfortunately, a need to develop it has led to pools being constructed at the bottom of the mountain, and the hot spring at the top (with dubious-looking ruins underwater) now costs 23 lira for a 2 hour 'swim'.

We both stared at the menu, our eyes on the same item.

"We should definitely get this," said Hilary.

This was something we'd never seen on a menu, and one we probably wouldn't see back at home.

After Izmir, we boarded a cheap domestic flight to Istanbul, waited a few hours in the Ataturk airport, sipping disgustingly overpriced coffees, and then made our way to the Cairo gate.

We'd managed to get round-trips tickets from Istanbul to Cairo for a great price. This was due in part to the proximity to Cairo, but also the push on behalf of the Egyptian government to reign in Turkish tourists. It seemed like a good place to contrast my studies in Turkey. While the Republic here is staunchly secular, Egypt is a Muslim country. It uses Sharia law, and there is no real attempt to part religion and politics. Unfortunately, as we would soon learn, this well-intentioned trip would end in an exercise in futility.

So he brought it over. There was no fanfare. No lull in converstation. No rousing applause. No Oscar-like acceptance speeches expected on our behalf. When he put the plate down, it just sat there. On some lettuce. With a few tomatoes. Oh. And cucumbers.

After flying into Cairo, catching a ride into the city to the hotel and checking into our room, we sat down with the young guy who ran the place. We told him we'd be in the country for a week, and wanted to see as much as we could, for cheap. If he'd heard this request before, his expression hid the well-rehearsed approach he would take.

After a few minutes of explaining, with diagrams drawn on napkins to further confuse, we learned we could see Cairo, with the Giza pyramids, then take a train down to Aswan (only 14 hours!), where we'd travel up to Luxor, and then back to Cairo in time for our flight back to Istanbul.

The days would be peppered with morning and day trips. Which, in hindsight, are a traveller's worst nightmare. This became evident as we trudged up a sand dune over to the pyramids. I guess that's unfair. The horses trudged. We just sat there. But the guide, who's promised us adventure, and allocated our adventure time into segments. 15 minutes here. 10 here. 5 here. 10 minutes of free time. Yeah. That's right. Free time. On our tour. That was just us. As we were shepherded around, the only thing I could think of was the time in Havana when our family was going on a tour of the city. After 15 minutes, Dad called it quits, walked off the tour, and met a Cuban doctor in a run-down bar, getting by on Italian, while the rest of us were dragged to preset locations. If only I could have Larry Cecco'd the tour to the pyramids....

This horrendous formula for a tour was replayed each time, and eventually Hilary and I hit our breaking point. Although we never thought it'd come to this, we realized we needed to hijack our own tour. So we tried our best in the coming days to just do our own thing. We wanted meet Egyptians, which is surprisingly hard to do in Egypt.

We managed to, a bit. But in the end, we realized that Egypt is set up for tourists. It's magnificently orchestrated to cater to desires of tourists who want the charm of the desert, but none of the eyesores that go with it. The poverty is veiled by kitsch souvenirs, and magnificent temples now have outdoor cafes and ice cream for sale. The transportation network serves those on tours, and the industry has made it next to impossible to travel from city to city other than by prearranged trips by 'travel agents'. So we arrived in Egypt looking for a unique experience and a different perspective, and we left with both.

I picked up my fork, and poked at it. Just sitting there, staring up at me. Well, no it wasn't. It wasn't an eye. Or a foot. Or tongue. I guess I should just say what it wasn't- intestine, heart, lungs, liver, kidney, toes, testicles, skin, or stomach. So at this point, you're left with only one option.

Yup. A brain. Just sitting on the plate, like a brain should do, if it's been boiled up.

I should say now, before it arrived, I didn't think it'd look like a brain. But seeing it now, it most definitely did. A solid mass of grey matter. Ready for consumption.

We could have just looked at it and said 'no way'. But we didn't We said 'way'.

"Afiyet olsun" (Bon appetite) we said to each other, and dug in.

Photos can be found in two places:

Flickr This is for the high quality images.

Or:

Facebook (More photos)

Chapter 9

2009-12-01T03:17:00.000-08:00

Probably one of the best moves I could have made here was to take the courses on Rural Sociology.

The lectures are interesting. I'm the only one in the English version of the class, so while it begins with the professor discussing the nuances of the IMF's policies and how they affect the neo-liberal economics of Turkey, it usually ends up with her telling me I'm paying too much for tomatoes when I go to the grocery store.

So if I don't take anything else from the class, I've learned that 2.5 lira a kilo is far too expensive. ($1.7 in Canuckian dollars)

Fortunately, I've taken a lot from the class. Unlike the other exchange students here, I've been able to travel to remote Turkish villages. In the most recent one, an 84-year-old man was chopping wood (definitely putting me to shame), while a 96-year-old was collecting leaves in her yard. There's no concept of retirement here- everyone works until they physically can't. The area was the site of a proposed hydroelectric dam, but when the plan fell through, all that was left was a concrete corpse and unemployment.

As in every village, there's the local hangout where all the old men sit and drink tea and play backgammon. I realize I just said that everyone works, but I've learned here that loitering seems to be a full time job.

Most of the employment in the villages is agriculture, and to a lesser extent, subsistence farming. When you step into one of the villages, it's like being tossed back decades. But not the 60's. Or 70's. I'll take that back when I see Turkish villagers in polyester disco suits. Kids ride down the dirt roads on donkeys, and scythes are tossed casually by the houses.

For those that are interested, I was able to snap a few photos.

They can be found at: flickr.com/photos/lcecco

I switched from Facebook to Flickr because the quality is much better on the latter.

Chapter 8

2009-12-01T03:09:00.000-08:00

One thing that I thought I had escaped was Christmas.

For a few fleeting weeks, I had assumed I was in an oasis devoid of commericals, premature sales and hefty catologues.

While I don't want to speak too soon, something may be terribly wrong here.

The other day, on the tail end of the Kurban Bayram (Sacrifice of the Animals), I went to the mall to pick up some groceries. I noticed some tinsel hanging from the railings.

Ok. Maybe it's to celebrate the bayram.

Next I saw gold painted bells.

And a plastic Christmas tree.

And the coup de grace- a small Santa Claus on the tree.

While there aren't any commercials advertising anything remotely like Christmas, and there isn't a mall Santa, it still puzzles me why the decorations suddenly went up a few days before the first of December.

My only hope lies in the fact that when I ask Turks if we get Christmas off, they all say "Yes, there is no school on January 1st."

CORRECTION: I haven't completely renounced Christmas. There is an advent calendar hanging on the wall of my place. Thanks Mom and Dad!

Chapter 7

2009-11-22T08:19:00.000-08:00

Some people have pointed out that I have yet to write about the Turkish school system.

I've refrained until now, so I could have a month to get a better idea of it, just like you don't know much about a course from just a week of attending.

The students here take more classes than we're used to back at home- the average is 7 or 8 per semester, but I have a few friend who's stuck with 15. 15. 15 classes. He starts school at 8, and leaves at around 7.

The universities seem to take the 'independent learning' approach, and while there are lectures, students are graded on presentation on different topics, and term papers. With Turkish classes, however, the don't write term papers since there's no equivalent to www.turnitin.com, so plagiarism is rampant.

The classes let me get a new perspective on issues, which has been invaluable. Learning about the media from a Turkish standpoint has made me really appreciate what we have back in Canada. While people will criticize the Globe and Mail for a subversive leftist agenda, and others will mock the National Post for some clandestine neo-conservative movement, they are pillars of quality journalism compared to the news one would find in Hurriyet, or Taraf. There is no real middle ground here- half the media is staunchly nationalist, the other half is pushing the Islamist aim of reducing the secular structure of the Turkish government.

Having said that, the comment sections in both Turkish and Canadian newspapers still make me cringe.

Although I've mostly focused on the university aspect of the education system, I've also had the chance to volunteer with an organization called TGEV, or the Turkish Educational Volunteers. It's an NGO that works throughout Turkey to provide students (mainly under the age of 12) with education enrichment to remedy the failures of the elementary school system here. Many of the children lack quality education in their home villages, so they're bussed out to the different TGEV schools, and once a week get to learn about science, chemistry, math, English. It's a great program, and it's the leader in the Turkish NGO movement.

Chapter 6

2009-10-25T15:21:00.000-07:00

The best places in life don't have giftshops.

Following a close second, are places that lack real roads.

When you put the two together, stir, and cook over charcoal with a tomato on top, you get the village of Old Red Apple.

Accessible only by enrolling in Rural Sociology (or by dirt road), this village is located high in the mountains near Bursa. It's remote enough that the driver got lost three times (because he took directions from other Turks), yet modern enough that the school has a computer- with internet.

The Old Red Apple is home to about 500 villagers. It gets its name from the apple trees that used to grow there, until poor land use resulted in an extinction of apple trees from that area. On the bright side, if they ever wanted to make it into a condo development, the name is already chosen for them. You'd be hard pressed to find young professionals and retirees who would pass up the opportunity to gaze for hours at the non apple orchards and dine on non-existent apples throughout the year.

In addition to myopic land use, the village has been hit even harder by the International Monetary Fund's structural adjustment policies, which, in the most simple terms, puts villagers out of work. As such, the income generation has shifted from agricultural to seasonal labour.

Hm. Maybe I was paying attention in class.

So to arrive with enough time for the students to conduct interviews, we left Eskisehir at around 6:30 in the morning. Since the is about 3.5 hours from our departure point, it seemed as though we'd arrive at around 10 in the morning. But, traveling in true Turkish form, we were required to make many tea stops. Turks can't seem to go more than an hour or so without tea, so we stopped more than a few times. While they drink copious amounts of the stuff, they have an amazing ability to not have to pee all the time. I wish I could say the same.

After some tea stops, we also took a couple of hours at a lake resort (Gol Yazi). I thought that the resort was the village when we first got there, and then figured that the prof had been blowing everything out of proportion- would a village with only 500 people have a Go-Kart track? Didn't think so.

It was in Gol Yazi that I met the closest thing to Leyland Cecco I've ever seen. It's a bird that lives on the water, and it's called Leylek Ciconia Ciconia. Creepy.

The site of buses pulling themselves up the mountain and into village brought all the residents out of their homes and into the streets. Children came out of out of the school and stared as though they'd never seen an outsider before. Then one of the children's phone rang, and he had a Kanye West ringtone. Hearing 'Stronger' immediately shattered my idealized notion of this pure and untouched village.

In reality, virtually every person has satellite TV. Which is more than I can say about my current situation...

The men work as farmers to produce for the village only- structural adjustment policies have made it useless for them to sell to the government. During the summer, they work as seasonal labourers at the archeological sites a few kilometres away. The women are unpaid household labourers, but the Turkish government considers them employed (although they receive no pay), thus inflating employment numbers.

As per the norm in Turkish culture, the villagers were outrageously hospitable- tea and fresh baked bread was brought out, and all were eager to give tours to the sociology students.

When they heard I was from Canada, some gave me blank stares, others (the lumberjacks) silent nods that said "Yes, my brother, we know of the fine trees that grow in your faraway land." Or something like that.

The village was a beautiful place- houses made of a random assortment of boards stood next to brick buildings, and the vivid colours seemed more Caribbean than rural Turkish. And cows drank from the fountains in the village square- always a treat to see.

The village was a nice departure from all things touristy. Evidence of such these activities can be found at:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/lcecco/

Chapter 5

2009-10-11T12:24:00.000-07:00

How do you comfortably fit 6 people in a 5 person compact European car? You don't.

But once you do manage to 'tetris' yourselves into the car, the necessary ingredients for a good trip are in place:

1) Map of location you're not going to: Check.

2) Cramped seating: Check.

3) Buying groceries that, in theory, should be kept below 4 degrees, but are left in the hot car for more than 5 hours? Check.

4) Finding out the gas tank is empty? Check.

Since there were enough Cecc's there that it could have been a family reunion, we were all set to adventure off. The main goal was to end up in Çavdarhisar, a small village 2 hours from Eskisehir. The draw of the area is a scattering of Greek and Roman ruins going back as far as 2500 years. Pretty old stuff. And since we're young, the contrast seemed like a good idea.

After three close encounters with drivers "passing" (in the wrong lane), we arrived in Cavdarhisar. The first site was the old stadium and theatre. There was no facility or ticket booth there. It was essentially a free for all among the ruins. I fell victim to ignorantNorthAmerican Syndrome, and thought it would be a great idea to see how I could climb on some of the 2500+ year old walls. I learned that just because something's been sitting there for more than two millennia, doesn't mean that it's sturdy. Or safe. Or won't crumble and crack.

The second site was a set of old Roman baths. I can see why they abandoned them- there was no water. I guess old Octavius dropped the ball on that one...

The third site was an old Greek temple, which looked stunningly like the Parthenon, only smaller. And more crumbly. And more Turkish, since there was a place to buy tea a few meters from it.

While in Turkish cities, it's easy to forget that this area has a rich, rich history. The Byzantines, the Greeks, the Romans, the Seljuqs, the Ottomans- all of them controlled Turkey at some time, and it was a crucial part of all of the empires. When you think about how far back civilization goes back here, it makes you feel pretty insignificant.

As always, there are accompanying photos.

Check them out at : http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2176134&id=94807105

Chapter 4

2009-09-26T12:37:00.000-07:00

I never thought I'd have tea with Fidel Castro's brother.

And today I didn't.

But I did share a tongue burning experience with the next best thing: the past mayor of Cavdarhisar.

We ran into him as we were snapping photos of an old Roman tower. He sauntered over, as only a local can do, and pointed over at the house across the stream. From what my 'slightly-more- present-than non-existent' Turkish told me, it was his museum. That, and the sign that said 'Museum'.

As he kept pointing to the museum with worn hands, hesitation borne from my lira-less pockets fell to curiosity. So I followed his lead across the bridge as the smoke curled from his cigarette, beckoning with its tendrils.

We passed a street sign, and he paused mid-step to tell me that this Abduallah Ozcan Street was in fact named after him.

Inside the cramped room which held his 'artifacts', he pulled items from shelves. With pride in his crinkled face, he showed me the ancient Turkish coffee pots that were donated to him, or the wool spinning devices used to make clothes.

After a few minutes of the obligatory "ooh's" and "wow's", he invited us upstairs for tea. Never one to turn down some tea with a Turk, I was quick to accept.

The creaky stairs gave us away, and before I had reached the top of the landing, his wife has bustled into the kitchen to start the tea. I was given a seat on his worn bench, and while I snapped photos, he picked up old pictures of the glory days. And in his glory days, he definitely drew a crowd.

The two Polish girls and the two Turks arrived 15 minutes later, and as we sat in the living room, lenses shuttering, his wife walked in with a tray of steaming tea. There are few things that top Turkish generosity. Actually, the only thing I can think of that tops it is the cost of a cab ride in this country when you get tricked by the driver.

Our group of 6 sat with steaming glasses, listening to Abdullah talk about how he was jailed during the war, how he became mayor here, and how he tried to turn it into a Soviet state.

To prove his commitment to the communist cause, he had his wife bring him his communism sweater.

Gold.

Well, the sweater wasn't, but the idea was. It was a black wool top, and it had the letters 'K' and T stitched into it. He listed off all of the possible things the 'K' stood for: Komunism, Kuba, Komunism. The 'T' was obviously for Turkey. So somedays he would wear his 'Komunism Turkiye' sweater, other days it was his 'Kuba Turkiye' sweater.

This let him segue into the fact that as a die-hard supporter of Raul and Fidel, in Turkey he often introduced himself to new acquaintances as Fidel Castro's brother.

What a guy.

The evidence of this chance encounter can be found here:

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2176027&id=94807105&l=5b855d03ce

Chapter 3

2009-09-23T12:47:00.000-07:00

His name is Urhan Gozebe. He's deaf, but that doesn't stop him from being one of the best salesmen ever.

This meerschaum savant (a carver of the rock mined in Eskisehir) will grunt and wave his hands in the air each piece he shows you, and is careful to point out that no, YOU will not pay the posted price. For you, cheaper. Also, if you're thinking of getting that meticulously carved face of Sultan Ahmet at another shop, expect to pay as high as the sky. Or ceiling. Or both.

What he lacks auditorily (word? probably not), he makes up for in character. He'll hobble around his cramped shop to pull pieces off the wall, hold them up to the camera for a second, then see something else that catches his eye. Like a child in a toy store, he's filled with excitement surrounded by his creations.

Any hesitation when a pipe is placed in your hands is met with a follow-up newspaper article, showing an gargantuan carving, and a title that reads "The 30 Thousand Dollar Pipe". From what I gleaned with my rudimentary (see: nonexistent) Turkish, he crafted a pipe that was sold for 30 grand. Makes the 50 bucks he wants for the elaborately carved busts of Watson and Holmes seem like a catch. Which it was by the way. Yes, I bought them. How can you turn him down?

I'm not sure if the shop is small, or the sheer volume of carvings hanging from the wall make it seem like that. Either way, if you've ever felt like being dwarfed by pipes, go there, and if you don't think it's possible, go there.

In true Turkish form, tea was brought out after my purchase, and we sat down on worn stools, burning our tongues. He showed me all of the famous people he's sold to, then gestured that he'd given them a good price. Not a ceiling high one.

So I left the shop with England's greatest duo in my bag, a burnt tongue, and some great photos.

You can find them here:

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2175831&id=94807105&l=d68769b949

Also, a quick note on the meerschaum (from the hastily translated info sheet): It's called sea foam, since it's so light and white when it's pulled from the ground. When first mined, it can be scratched with a fingernail, so it has to be heated. This hardens it, allowing it to be more accurately carved. The most abundant and highest quality meerschaum comes from Eskisehir (I never thought I'd be guilty of plugging the quality of a rock, but I am). Since Turkey has banned the export of it for commercial purposes, the only real, high-grade pipes and other carvings come out of Turkey, specifically the Eskisehir region. So Urhan Gozebe is legit. Let's leave it at at that.

Chapter 2

2009-09-23T12:19:00.000-07:00

Despite the unsolicited advice from Turks that Eskisehir was more than 20 hours by bus, or at least 3 by a rival bus company, I arrived in no less an 4 hours, and paid no more than 9 dollars (significantly less than the hundreds of Euros I was quoted).

The city is very European, yet still strikingly Turkish. It's European in the sense that the buildings are a throwback to Prague with a river right out of an Amsterdam guidebook. The Turkish part comes into play when I realized that kebap or doner restaurants occupy 90% of the commercial space, and I've become immune to both frequent sightings of garbage carts pulled by donkeys, and full families fit tightly onto a scooter (helmetless of course).

Eskisehir has been quite for the last few days, since everyone has been with family in other parts of Turkey to celebrate Bayram, the end of Ramazan holiday. The fact that everything has been closed hasn't deterred my from exploring the city and university.

The evidence of such explorations can be found here:

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2175302&id=94807105&l=49bef962de

I'm living in my own apartment, fully furnished, since the student I was supposed to live with thought it would be a hilariously great idea to say "I'll host a student", when what he really meant was "I'll be in Italy for at least a semester. Don't tell him until he gets here." So it's just me, a gas stove, a redundant tea pot (credit to Hilary Beaumont) and a toaster oven that I have yet to figure out. All of those combine forces to create the most practical, unoriginal breakfasts imaginable: hardboiled eggs (I can't find a frying pan) and tea.

Living on my own has also taught me to prioritize- from now on, buying water (since they tap stuff is undrinkable) is MORE important than Facebook. A quick lesson on the second day reinforced this timeless wisdom.

While school starts next week, I've had a chance to register for courses and tour the campus. It's oasis-like when compared to the surrounding desert of the city, and is a student's haven for prices. A full meal in the cafeteria will set you back about 75 cents, and if your budget permits, a movie will also set you back the same amount. Splurging for a meal at the nice cafe will gouge the wallet about 4 dollars, but that'll include coffee for after the meal too.

So I've settled into the Turkish lifestyle (at 15 cups of tea a day, could it be anything but Turkish?) and if I don't kill myself on a gas powered stove, or die of thirst from forgetting to buy water, I will survive another week.

Chapter 1

2009-09-13T03:30:00.000-07:00

They say in stand-up comedy that you always bomb your first time. It's a washout. It happens to everyone. That said, if I ever decide to enter the comedy ring, my token bomb lies in an embarrassing, awkward and sober night at a Mexican resort's "Improv Night".

I assumed the same would work for my trip here- a big embarrassment within a few hours of stepping off of the plane, and bingo- I'd have nowhere to go but up.

So after a day here in Istanbul, I have nowhere to go but up. That's the good news. The bad is that I couldn't even wait until I was off the plane.

No sooner had we taken off from London, I was asleep to Ben Stiller's voice in Night at the Museum. Although my eyes were closed, my mouth definitely wasn't. While being woken up for meal time on the plane (yes, they even have the kebaps on the plane), I couldn't help but notice the flight attendant glance down at the massive, Ontario-shaped drool stain on my shirt. I'd like to thank my mouth and lack of control for the three hours of embarrassment.

I'd been hesitant to fly here because of the flooding in Istanbul that swept through the city only a day or two ago. On my cab ride to the hotel, the streets were dry, the sidewalks and houses were and it seemed that the only water was on my shirt. Still.

The most surreal part of the Istanbulian experience is the call to prayer throughout the day. Although it's not done by the muezzin anymore (having been replaced by loudspeakers), the haunting song can be heard throughout the city. The Blue Mosque starts the call, and all the smaller surrounding mosques chime in, making for an eerily orchestrated event.

So far, I've learned three things about Istanbul:

1) Lanes on the highway, speed limits, turn signals, traffic lights and pedestrian rights are, for the most part, arbitrary and meaningless.

2) Air conditioners only need/have one setting- Turbo.

3) The AK-47 is the weapon of choice for guarding information booths.

The proof of my travels can be found here: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2174734&id=94807105&l=de6c0614cb

Next stop: Eskisehir. I've been told by one Turk that it's 15 hours there, another told me 3. One said it would be around 30 Euro for a ticket, another told me 250. I'm beginning to think that the city is made-up.

Prologue

2009-08-06T20:50:00.000-07:00

So before I leave, I figure I’d give everyone a good idea of where I’m going, and a few fun facts on top of that.

It’s not Istanbul. Although you can tell people that- I’ve been guilty of it a few times to get out of explaining where I’ll be.

The name of the city is Eskisehir, and it’s between Ankara and Istanbul (not Constantinople!)

The population is almost double Halifax's- 614,000, and the main export (and also attraction) is rock. White rock. From what I’ve gleaned from the Wiki, you can visit the rock museum, the rock quarry, and even take home a souvenir rock. I will verify this, and edit the entry if necessary.

The school, while being the 4th largest in the world by enrollment, has a small(ish) sized campus in the town. Most of the students are online/distance education students, so 884,000 people really translates to about 40,000 real students spread out over a Turkey.

This is all that I know about what I’m diving into, and hopefully it’s accurate. I’d be devastated to learn that the export was really off-white rock.